2 Priorities – Often Conflicting
1. Relationships
2. Purpose
“MY STYLE” =
personality, genetic make-up, sum total of our experiences, family of origin
None are always wrong
We usually choose our 1 preferred style unconsciously – all the time
Goal: to learn WHEN each is appropriate and how to use it
5 Patterns – How We Respond to Conflict
Turtle
Avoidance stay out of the conflict
Don’t be associated with either side
Lose / lose
Teddy Bear
Preserve relationship at all costs
Accommodation
You win / I lose
Shark
Control
Competition only 2 possible outcomes: win or lose
I win / you lose
Fox
Compromise
Provide a little bit of winning – to accept a little bit of losing
Sacrifice some of our desires for “the common good”
Both win AND both lose
Owl
Collaboration
Everyone participates: defining problem AND creating solutions
Relationships AND Goals are BOTH priorities
Requires Belief that this CAN happen
Both win