N. Lica
1. What I believe counseling is, how I have seen, or heard of, counseling being used in my your church or elsewhere.
We are living in a society where everybody has some problems in different areas. Even the followers of Jesus don‘t have an easy life. Sometimes I asked myself why children of God have problems and hard times. But the Bible says that Jesus did not promise to us an easy life on this earth, but everlasting life in heaven. What He also promised is that in the middle of the problems He will be with us and will give His divine peace into
our hearts.
a). The importance and definition of Counseling.
In my opinion counseling is one of the most important and hardest jobs in the world because it is nothing but working
with the people and helping them when they are in bad situations and they don‘t know how to deal with them. Counseling in general is hard job also because it demands communications skills. It‘s very hard to speak with another person about personal (intimate) problems like: sexual sins, abuse, depression, guilt, marriage problems, rape etc. The Christian counselor should be God‘s ambassador on this earth where people can go when they have problems, and they know that they will find an answer for their problems, encouragement, hope and help.
Many times I felt that I needed somebody to listen to my problems and give me good advice, but I didn‘t find anyone. Christian counseling is very important in the church of Christ, because Christians, in contrast to nonbelievers have spiritual problems and if they don‘t have a Christian counselor they experience hard times and they have to struggle by themselves with these problems. Counseling is also important because it deals with the personal topics that can not be preached from the pulpit and it can not be studied in the class of Sunday school or in other meetings. People are open to speak about personal problems only between four eyes.
b). Christian Counseling it‘s a real need today in our church and country.
During the communism in our country counseling was not so common work. There was pastoral care but people from the church were not encouraged to come with their problems to the pastor or elders of the church for counseling. People were not used to going for advice to someone, because that meant that you are were going to lose your image and reputation in front of the people and they might think about you that you are not normal. Maybe they were afraid of a counseling abuse and that‘s why they didn‘t feel comfortable opening their hearts to someone else.
After the revolution many things were changed in this area and our people saw very quickly that society needed counseling. Because of this in every city centers for guidance and advice were opened for marriage, drug- addicts, social problems, etc.
But in the church, people are in general the same, shy and timid and don‘t trust in help from others. There are many taboos in our church and nobody dares to preach or study on these topics and put them in the light of GOD'S WORD. I see a big need in our church in training lay and professional Christian counselors, so that people will see that there is nothing wrong in having a problem and visiting a counselor.
I think that this will build our churches more spiritually and many people will grow in their faith and will experience an abundant life in Jesus Christ. Christian counseling can not be substituted by preaching or Sunday school classes. The majority of people will never open in front of a group. That's why I see that a church which does not provide Christian counseling will not grow spiritually and will have many problems.
But I must say that not everybody can be a counselor. I believe that God gave His gifts to the church and it is up to us to recognize these gifts and try to develop them.
2. How I would hope to incorporate knowledge from this class into my life and ministry.
One of the goals of my life is to be a minister in the church of God and to use all knowledge in a right way for building strong personalities and help other people to experience an abundant and fulfilling life . I have chosen to take this class because I know that in working with the people, counseling is one of the most important tasks. People had problems and will have in the future, but not all of them know that there is hope in Jesus` name for changing: joy for sorrow, healing for wounds, hope for discourage , freedom for addictions, peace and forgiveness for bitterness and anger, worth for, inferiority feelings and new-born creation for a bad character . This should be the goal of every helper of people: to open their eyes to see that there is hope for feeling better and living in a better way.
In the first place I hope to use this knowledge for myself
in knowing myself better and changing in such way to can experience the presence of my Lord daily in my life and to build a real, personal and closer relationship with Jesus. Then I hope to use this knowledge in my family in rearing the children. I hope to use it whenever I will have an opportunity to speak with people in our church, maybe in our youth meetings if they will be interested.
I would like to be a helper of people and I realize that there are a lot of areas in the church and society where I can try to help people with all that I can do.
In the first day of this class God revealed to me that He needs mature people to use them in counseling. I need to grow in some areas so that after that I can be a lay counselor. I know that God wants to work first in us, and then through us.
I hope also that this class will help me to understand better the people from the world, their reactions, their problems so that I will know better how to preach the gospel through their counseling.
3. What have I learned about myself from reading the book?
I am very grateful to God for this book because on this subject is the best I ever read until now.
An ancient Greek philosopher said a short but a very important statement: “Know yourself!“ I think that this is important even in our days, especially for a councelor or a person who wants to help other people I can not help other people if I don`t know myself, becaouse one of the task of counseling is to help peopleto know themselves better. This book helped me to know myslef better than an before. It also pointed my attention to the fact that in every age I can have different problems, but also many of them can be prevented.
I learned that:
- God gave me a personality and some gifts and in His eyes I am very special and important. I enjoyed Part 5 of the book, chapter 21 (Inferiority and Self-Esteem).
¨ God also showed me some things that He wants to change in my personal life and marriage like: anxiety, anger, guilt, diferent types of fears etc.
¨ I must love myself because God loves me.
¨ Even if I am not perfect in all areas, God can use me.
¨ I must be a spiritual mature person to be a lay- Christian counselor.
¨ I am a sinner and I need Jesus and the Bible every day as my counselors.
¨ I must “build bridges instead of walls“ in interpersonal relationships with people.
¨ Admitting the problem is the first step in solving the problem.
¨ Even if I did not experience all of the bad things and problems of the counsel I can help.
¨ I should have an open door for the counselee in the future if he will need help.
¨ Life is full of problems in every age, but it depends on me to learn to cope and to be mature.
¨ I must have a right motivation for being a counselor and this is a strong wish to help and love.